Scantastic!

Friday 13th dawned with a sense of apprehension, excitement and downright terror at what the scan would show. But of course, we needn't have worried! There was our baby, up on the big screen for us all to see, with that reassuring flicker of a heartbeat rhythmically pulsing away. We breathed a huge sigh of relief. All was well.

Then the sonographer hit us with some unexpected news: "The bladder is looking quite a bit larger than it should be at this stage."

I felt myself take a sharp intake of breath, then revealed to her that exactly the same thing had occurred at my son's 12 week scan. They had noticed a prominent bladder and that, combined with the fact they could clearly see he was a boy, gave them grounds to suspect a case of PUV - Posterior Urethral Valves. In layman's terms, this is basically a blockage of the urethra close to the bladder, which affects boys exclusively. It requires careful monotoring during pregnancy and very often a small operation for the child.

"Does that mean it's a boy?" I asked, tentatively - only to be told it was far too early to tell the flavour yet. Why can't they just be honest? I'd only just told her that they were able to tell the sex of my son at 12 weeks and here she was trying to fob me off.

My son's enlarged bladder had fortunately gone back to normal by 16 weeks, and so the sonographer asked me to return in a week's time to have another scan with the consultant. She took the measurements for the combined screening for Down's Syndrome, and told me the results would be sent to me early next week if low risk, with a phone call if we were considered high risk.

Fast forward a week, to my second scan at 13 weeks. We saw an extremely lively baby up on the screen, and much to our relief the consultant confirmed that the bladder looked perfectly normal. To be on the safe side, we have to go back in 3 weeks time to be scanned yet again! I can tell I'm going to have to get a season pass for the hospital car park .....

Looking Back ... and Forwards

So, I finally did hear from my midwife and she came to see me at home this morning. She's the same midwife I had first time around, and is lovely - exactly the sort of person you would want to have looking after you.

The first 'booking in' appointment with your midwife is usually a lengthy one - and this was no exception. There was medical history to be taken on both sides of the family, blood pressure checks and a recap of my last pregnancy and birth.

Today's meeting pretty much confirmed my suspicions - I am unlikely to be having a natural labour and birth. Let me recap on the events of last time to put you in the picture ...

With my son, I devloped obstetric cholestasis - a condition where bile salts build up in your bloodstream, resulting in the most horrendous itching on your palms, feet and body. This meant I had to be induced on my due date, as cholestasis, although uncomfortable and frustrating for the mother, can actually be fatal to an unborn child.

I spent four days in hospital having the induction, which was a big, fat failure. My body was just not playing ball. On the fourth day I was beginning to get labour pains, and they decided that at half a centimetre dilated they may just be able to break my waters manually. They managed it - just - and then I was hooked up to a drip which forces your body into massive, gut crunching contractions. It was horrendous and I hated every second of it.

Eight hours, gas and air, pethedine and an epidural later, and I had still only dilated half a centimetre further. Suddenly there was a group of medics in my room, crowded around my notes making umming and ahhing noises and looking at me very seriously. Finally, one turned to me and said "Well, we don't seem to be making a lot of progress here. You could keep going for a bit longer - or if you wish we could do a cesarian now."

Resisting the urge to scream "GET IT OUT OF ME!!!" I gasped timidly "Oh yes, I'm quite tired now, maybe a cesarian would be a good idea" to which they all nodded understandingly.

So for all these reasons, it seems unlikely that I will be allowed to attempt a natural birth unless I happen to spontaneously go into labour. I have to admit, it's a massive relief - last time was an experience I am in no hurry to repeat.

Next on the agenda is my 12 week scan in a week's time, the prospect of which is exciting and terrifying at the same time. Then four days later I meet with my hospital consultant to discuss more of the same. Bring it on.

Early Pregnancy

Early pregnancy is a real bitch. Nausea, tiredness, dizziness, heightened sense of smell and tummy cramps - in the first 3 months it's sometimes hard to remember exactly WHY we wanted to do this in the first place!

My morning sickness hasn't been too bad - just a kind of underlying nausea that never quite goes away. It's worse first thing, but seems to be alleviated by eating breakfast. For the rest of the day I try to eat little and often, and keep my fluid intake up. Extra Strong Mints help, too!

The fatigue aspect is horrendous - no matter how much sleep I get I still want more, and the smallest of chores can have me wheezing and panting for breath, and needing to retire to the sofa for a rest. I passed out when I was pregant with my son, so am acutely conscious of not overdoing things or being on my feet for too long.

The sense of smell thing is really weird - open the fridge door or walk past the kitchen bin and the overwhelmingly pungent odours are enough to send me reeling and gagging. Just horrible.

My tummy cramps are easing off now that I am at the 10 week stage - hopefully the fetus has bedded in nicely and is making itself a cosy home for the next 6 months or so. I remember in my first pregnancy the pains were horrendous at times, but I guess my body is used to what is going on now!

Pregnancy is so much harder second time around, when you already have a little one to look after. He's just as energetic, mischievous and noisy as ever, and can't understand why I am always wanting to lie down instead of play with him. Plus I work full time, which means I have very little energy left by the end of the day.

In addition to my 12 week scan date I now have an appointment to see the consultant at the hospital on17 August. Bizarrely though, I still haven't seen a midwife. I rang my doctors surgery and they gave me the midwife's number to call, but when I spoke to her she said she didn't cover my area and she would ask the woman who did to give me a ring. Needless to say, I am still waiting!

A Date with Destiny

So my eagerly awaited 12 week scan appointment has come through - Friday 13 August.

There must be some joke, surely? Who in their right minds decided that would be a good date to do a pre-natal scan on?? Good job I'm not overly superstitious.

Am I excited? You bet. It's the first time I will get to see the little person growing inside of me. The little person who is currently zapping my life force on a daily basis, making me feel like a zombie and playing havoc with my taste buds and sense of smell.

Am I scared? Absolutely shitless. What if we don't make it to Friday 13? That's a whole 4 weeks away yet, and even with my most optimistic hat on it's a terrifyingly long time to wait. Plus, the last scan I went to was not exactly the most joyous experience.

But hey ho, onwards we go. Now I just need the community midwife to make contact and arrange my booking in appointment, at which point I will do battle and begin my "I will be refusing induction at any cost" campaign. Wish me luck with that!

Welcome to the blog!

Today I am 7 weeks and 5 days pregnant - that's a whole 5 days further than my last pregnancy got, and so to celebrate I've decided to start writing a blog to track my/our progress.

Sorry if I sound flippant - it's the only way I can deal with the fact that earlier this year I suffered a miscarriage. We all assume it will never happen to us - but of course, miscarriage is indescriminate, and can and does affect anyone. I dealt with it the way I deal with most things - I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity for approximately a week, then gave myself a mental slap around the face and pulled myself together. As a mother to a 2 and a half year old I didn't see I had much choice - he needed me too.

So - fast forward 4 months and you can imagine my delight when I realised I was actually pregnant again! The euphoria was quickly replaced with the sinking realisation that I was going to have to go through the early stages of pregnancy and all its uncertainty for a third time.

I have now passed the 7 week milestone of when my miscarriage occurred last time, and am feeling slightly more optimistic. All the right pregnancy symptoms are there - body-shattering fatigue, wooshes of nausea and of course the obligatory stretchy pains which are reassuring yet terrifying at the same time.

My job now is to sit it out patiently until I get the date for my 12 week scan. I've never known time to pass so slowly ....